The Slumming of America

The Slumming of America

The Slumming of AmericaPerhaps some people might think me a prude or curmudgeon after reading this article but the older I get (I am now 48) the more shocked, disgusted and disappointed I am by the language that we are subjected to in movies, television and music. It seems to me, that for some reason, violent, homophobic, racist and misogynistic language is not only accepted but embraced.Recently, I was attending a social gathering of almost 200 people, all of us over the age of forty (closer to fifty than we care to admit) and I was shocked, embarrassed and angered by the language of several of the attendees. Before I go any further, let me tell you that I possess the vocabulary of the former sailor that I am. I love to curse, and being born and raised in New Jersey, well put me behind the wheel of a car and I amaze myself at the variations of curse words I can come up with, but I work very hard at not using four letter words as part of my daily conversation especially when I am at a social event. But it seems to me that I am in the minority, and that a lot of people feel it is okay to throw the “F” word around like it is nothing, turning it into an adjective, adverb and noun instead of the crude word that it really is.The thing is,I really can’t blame people. Television and other forms of mass media have made vulgar language part of our daily existence, so I think we as a society are becoming more and more desensitized to obscenity. Turn on any premium pay channel and watch a television show where the writers are not scrutinized by the sensors of network television and you will see that the envelope of what is acceptable as “artistic and realistic” is being forced farther and farther. Two shows come to mind, HBO’s The Soprano’s along with their recent hit series “True Blood”. I have to admit that I enjoyed both of these series immensely and followed each week Tony Soprano’s trials and tribulations and like millions of other viewers in America and across the globe, I was glued to the television set every Sunday and could not wait to find out what was going to become of America’s favorite mob boss.Then somewhere around the fourth or fifth season, I noticed the language on that show (while always profane, but at the same time realistic for portraying a New Jersey Mafia boss) was becoming more and more graphic. I noticed that the writers started to use language that debased women with misogynistic language that at best is not used in polite society outside of a gynecologist’s office. What bothered me the most about the use of this word was that I knew that a female friend that I work with watched the show also, and I wondered how she felt when that word was used. Was she as shocked as I was? If I were a woman I would be furious. Why should my friend, or any woman, have to be subjected to such a hateful word? During the last season, the storyline portrayed a closeted gay man, and a homophobic temr was thrown around like it was nothing. As a gay man, who has been the subject of homophobic violent acts all the while hearing the word this word (and because it is considered an obscene word I can’t use it here) being screamed, I was appalled. To me, the “F” word is just as hurtful as the “N” word is to African Americans and the “C” word is to women. Yet more and more and more Americans are becoming desensitized and complacent about crude and repulsive language.Another HBO show, True Blood, started off with a strong first season about the ill fated love between Sookie, a human who could read people’s minds, and Bill, a vampire who swore off on human blood, opting for artificial blood instead. Let’s face it, sex sells, and all of us, gay, straight or bi enjoy the occasional butt shot or topless scene, but during the second season, the plot line became so convoluted and the sex scenes became more and more graphic and I felt like I was watching soft porn after a while. Again, call me a prude, but I don’t want to watch an orgy on Sunday night!!A lot of people reading this might be thinking “if it bothers you that much, then don’t watch it” and they are right, I do have free will to turn off my television but it seems to me that no matter where I turn, no matter what form of entertainment medium I turn to, vulgarity is there. One of the most popular recording artists of our time is Eminem, a white rapper with a reputation for violent, homophobic and misogynistic lyrics who just happens to be actually good. His latest CD, titled Relapse, chronicles his battles with chemical dependency and subsequent recovery, and as a person who has been in recovery for the last 18 years of my life (so much for my anonymity) I was floored by this CD. Em nails what it is like to be dependent on chemicals, what it is like to relapse and what it is like to stay sober in world where it seems everyone around you is using. However, the violent imagery, homophobic and ,misogynistic lyrics are at best hard to get past and at worst, embarrassing to listen to if there is a woman in my car. Anyone who knows anything at all about rap music knows that if you are going to listen to it, you better prepare yourself for some harsh language, but the “dumbing of the English language” is not limited to rap music. A few years ago Bruce Springsteen made the news because of a deal between his record company and Starbucks that fell through because of language he used on an acoustic album of his called “Devils and Dust”. It seemed that a line in a song he sung about visiting a prostitute did not fit in with the Starbuck image. Readers, I worship Bruce Springsteen, I have every single one of his albums/cd’s, have seen him thirty five times (recently traveling to Dublin Ireland to see him) and yet once again there was in my possession a CD with a lyric that I would be embarrassed to listen to with a woman or one of my nieces or nephews. And the worst part about it, in my opinion, the lyric in question took away from the song. Instead of a song about a lonely man visiting a prostitute we got a musical porn movie.Back in the 1930’s and 1940’s, there existed in Hollywood an establishment known as the Haye’s office. The Haye’s Office for those of you not familiar with film history was a censorship office. They had a strict code of what was allowed to be shown on screen, only closed mouth kissing was allowed and obscene language was never allowed. In 1939 the producers of Gone With the Wind had to plead with the Haye’s Office to allow Clark Gable to utter his famous parting words to Scartlett O’Hara “Frankly my dear I don’t give a damn”.I for one am glad that the Haye’s office no longer exits. I want realism in the movies I see and while I am sometimes offended by the language in today’s entertainment industry, I am a strong proponent of the right to free speech. My question however is “Does the right to free speech mean we no longer have to take responsibility for the words we use?”. It is almost a cliché to hear that the brave men and women of our country fought for our right to free speech, but call me crazy, call me a prude, but don’t we owe these American heroes some respect by using our right to free speech wisely? I wonder what the World War II Vet who fought in the battle of Iowa Jima thinks when someone like Eminem or Bruce Springsteen has the audacity to compare their “right” to free speech with the sacrifices made my men and women of true honor.I guess maybe I am just getting old. Loud Rock music, the roar of a Harley Davidson and long hair on males makes me crazy. Maybe I am just old fashioned, but I do my best not to curse in front of women and children, I believe that all strangers over the age of say 30 should be addressed by Sir, Maa’m or Miss (if you are under thirty the best you are gonna get out of me is “dude” or “bro”), and I open up doors for women.I think we all need to look within ourselves because most of us are guilty of inconsiderate, foul and offensive language. The English language is rich so many creative and non offensive words. Let’s leave vulgarity to the uncreative."